PMSLweb Piss Myself laughing – The Internet Scavengers
Christmas funnies collection – As we type these words, our friend Santa, up in the North Pole, is currently placing his sleigh on the tarmacadam road of his personal runway.
Alabaster Snowball, Bushy Evergreen, Pepper Minstix, Shinny Upatree, Sugarplum Mary and Wunhorse Openslea, his elves, are supervising the operations and after months of training, their stress level is sky-rocking as they know that there’s no room for error past this point.
So which list will you be making this year? In all cases, we wish you a merry PMSLweb moment!
December 14, 1972
My dearest darling John:
Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.
My love always,
Agnes
December 15, 1972
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I’m just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
All my love,
Agnes
December 16, 1972
Dear John:
Oh! Aren’t you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don’t deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you’ve been too kind.
All my love,
Agnes
December 17, 1972
Dear John:
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don’t you think enough is enough. You are being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
December 18, 1972
Dearest John:
What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. You’re just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
All my love,
Agnes
December 19, 1972
Dear John:
When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on my front steps. So you’re back to the birds again huh? These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can’t sleep through the racket. Please stop.
Cordially,
Agnes
December 20, 1972
John:
What’s with you and those freaking birds?? Seven swans a swimming. What kind of joke is this? There’s bird poop all over the house and they never stop the racket. I can’t sleep at night and I’m a nervous wreck. It’s not funny. So stop those freaking birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes
December 21, 1972
O.K. Buster:
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking? It’s not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their cows. There is manure all over the lawn and I can’t move in my own house. Just lay off me.
Agnes
December 22, 1972
Hey you:
What are you…..some kind of sadist? Now there’s nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They’ve never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they’re stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.
You’ll get yours !
Agnes
December 23, 1972
You rotten scoundrel:
Now there’s ten ladies dancing. I don’t know why I call those sluts ladies. They’ve been doing those pipers all night long. Now the cows can’t sleep and they’ve got diarrhea. My living room is a river. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn’t be condemned. I’m calling the police on you !
Agnes
December 24, 1972
Listen but-head:
What’s with those eleven lords a leaping on those maid and ladies? Those pipers ran through the maids and have been going after the cows. All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They’ve been trampled to death in the activity. I hope you’re satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes
December 25, 1972
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight.
With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially,
Law Offices of
Badger, Bender and Chole
Santa Claus naughty list member - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Murray Christmas at PMSLweb.com
Baby nailed it - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Naughty snowman jumper - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Christmas picture fail at PMSLweb.com
Back when santa only had 2 hos - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Only a morning person on December 25th at PMSLweb.com
Doesn’t exist Santa meme - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Dear Santa humor - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Winter expectations versus reality - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Dear santa you fat judgmental bastard at PMSLweb.com
Starfish Christmas tree humor - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Jingle bells in Texas - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Christmas photoshop humor - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
When you stop believing in Santa humor at PMSLweb.com
Jingle bells vodka swell ecard - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Somebody got a snowjob at Christmas - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Santa I’ve seen your FB updates - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Best Christmas cake at PMSLweb.com
Christmas hair style at PMSLweb.com
Christmas tree front versus back at PMSLweb.com
snowman before and after - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Santa another guy trying to get into your stockings at PMSLweb.com
Christmas group therapy at PMSLweb.com
How cats see a Christmas tree at PMSLweb.com
If a telemarketer calls humor - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Christmas tree hair at PMSLweb.com
Reindeer ice hole humor - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Of course you can decorate the Christmas tree ecard at PMSLweb.com
Snowman has been working out - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Santa’s reindeers humor - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
On the first day of Christmas ecard - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Batteries for mommy ecard - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Frosty gets caught picking his nose cartoon
Christmas present humor at PMSLweb.com
Fleas navidad - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Mistletoe in my back pocket - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Less sh*t from the dollar store - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Christmas definition humor at PMSLweb.com
Never too old to believe in santa - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Gift complaint form - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Santa claus has the right idea - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Santa Claus in trouble with wife - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Santa claus Christmas humor at PMSLweb.com
How snowflakes are made - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Quiz for Santas - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Snowmen family humor - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
Snowman meme - Christmas funnies at PMSLweb.com
