PMSLweb Piss Myself laughing – The Internet Scavengers
Weird vending machines – While we all occasionally tend to visit a vending machine in order to treat ourselves to a coffee, soft drink, soda pop or snack; you’d be amazed to see what kind of services some of these metallic beasts actually may put at your disposal.
A tad hungry? Have you ever considered trading your usual Mars bar for a pizza or a lobster for instance or your devoted ATM for a gold dispenser? If no, what follows might get you thinking slightly out of the box.
Wishing you an entertaining PMSLweb moment!
Have you ever secretly wished that you could slip into the skin of a pizza delivery boy for a moment? If yes, this specific vending machine will allow you to connect with the inner-Italian roots you probably didn’t even acknowledge you had. In less than 3 minutes, you can now surprise your family and friends with a freshly, and affordable, baked Margherita, Pepperoni, Ham, or bacon pizza… and hey who knows, you could eventually even end up getting a tip.
The following vending machine targets and should spike the interest of any cyclist, pro or amateur. Indeed, the big red or black steel cabinet dispenses various bicycle parts, including patch kits, front and tail lights, U locks, water bottles, snacks etc… Additionally, a repair station is put at your disposal to simply the various operations you could be required to undertake.
The time has come to revolutionize the fishing world thanks to this live bait dispenser! With just a swipe and a simple click, hook-up with and seduce the fish of your dreams by offering him some top notch and tasty take-away.
Because one never knows when the occasion of a good football game will present itself, today’s weird vending machine collection is happy and proud to introduce the all around the clock ball dispenser. No more sorrows or regrets to have; if you happen to come across a pro recruiter on your way home from work, just slip in a bill and show off the extent of your talent.
If you live in Japan and happen to have accidently confused your tie with your tea bag this morning, or even get to attend in a few a last minute meeting you had forgotten all about, no need to let an unhealthy gust of adrenaline spoil your day any longer. In the Land of the Raising Sun, it is not uncommon to find a few ties for sale, slipped in between the bags of M&M’s and cans of coke of the local vending machines, so feel free…
Suddenly realized that you left home “sockless”? Okies, we admit that the prior example is fairly uncommon, but what could actually turn out to be far more credible is that after treating yourself to a few drinks last night at the pub, you hooked up with a lady who ended up inviting you over for a torrid one-on-one; and in the fire of action, clothing was randomly scattered all around the place; at the crack of dawn – slightly more lucid – you then decided to run before she woke up (her snoring was too much to bear evidently, only explanation) , but problem.. it seems like you lost a sock or two during the battle, and you’re not in the mood for an early morning treasure hunt so…. A few blocks away a vending machine saves the day!
You wake up groggy and rub your eyes before realizing that after consuming far too much alcohol the night before, you ended up bringing home some handsome chap with a damning smile…weirdly though it looks like he vanished into thin air and your panties with him! What to do, what to do, you’ve been pushing back laundry day for a while now, and it looks as if you have no clean panties left, tough! Good news is that these days you can chill, put on something comfy and dash down to the closest panties dispenser which will provide you with crispy fresh and new undies 24/24 and 7/7.
The previous panty situation mentioned above brings us down to this! Not sure what to do with all these dirty panties of yours? Why not make an additional little income with them. Welcome to Japan, where Buru-sera fetishism is taken very seriously and where you can purchase used school girls panties via these very weird vending machines. Nothing more invigorating than to get a good whiff of some female student’s panties after she spent a day at the gym right. You’ll pass? We can’t say we blame you.
It’s 4pm and you’re dying for a snack… So what shall it be for you today, a Kitkat, a muffin, chocolate cake or… a tin of caviar maybe? No joke, if ever you’re lucky enough to live or visit Beverly Hills, here’s an option you’re probably not familiar with but which you can add to the list. So, American black, Classic or Imperial osetra, Classic or Imperial seguvra or even Beluga, what will you let yourself be tempted by?
Ever been in a situation where, fuming, all you fell like is to be able to punch someone square in the face, but deep down inside you know that society does not endorse that sort of behavior and that you’d end up getting into a fair amount of trouble if ever you did not manage to control your anger-powered impulses? Nonetheless, you have no intention of even trying to “keep calm and suck it up”, so you must find a way to channel these hostile emotions and dump them elsewhere. This is when the Anger release vending machine can turn out to be quite handy, as it allows you, after slipping a coin in the slot, to pick which piece of China you will watch smash to the ground…
For a split second you actually did believe that this vending machine dispensed Smart cars didn’t you? No doubt that indeed that would be quite an original way to purchase a car, but for now sadly you’ll need to stick to the conventional method we’re afraid. On the other hand what the giant vending machine will provide you with, is a tube containing a brochure and stickers, so cheer up, it’s better than nothing.
While vending machines dispensing apples – real ones- can actually be found right and left across the world, these specific machines will allow you to walk away with an iPod, a PSP and various accessories such as cases & batteries, headphones or power adapters just to name a few.
If ever you need a last minute birthday gift for your kid or are a lego maniac whose Saturday night projects ended up being cancelled and who seeks a back-up plan, you could be tempted by what these Lego vending machines have to offer. Depending of your budget and of how much spare time you have on your hands the dispensed boxes could keep you occupied from a few minutes to a few hours no doubt.
Earlier we introduced you to the bicycle parts vending station, but did you know that the Dutch also propose a bike rental vending machine? Pick up a RFID equipped (tracking method against theft) bike at one of their dispensers, then when you’re done, just drop it off at another.
Looking for a way to impress this gorgeous lady you just met? While on your way to the restaurant, instead of stopping at the good old ATM , why not level up your game and give a gold vending machine a shot. The gold-covered “Gold to Go” dispensers propose one, five and ten gram bars, as well as gold coins, with prices constantly updated to stay faithful to the current rates.
While condom dispensers are turning out to be quite mainstream by now, some vending machines now take the vending birth control experience to a whole new level. Indeed, a college in Pennsylvania now allows its students to gain access to “day after pills”, pregnancy tests and condoms via a dispenser.
After discovering that some weird vending machines propose articles such as socks or panties (new OR used for memo), will you really be surprised to learn that bra dispensers also are now available.
Once more direction Japan, and Tokyo to be more precise, where the bran “Une nana cool” allows its clients to purchase bras this way for around 30$ (3000 Yen).
Bras are one thing, but why stop there when you can just aim for the boob itself. In Japan where the sky seems to be the limit as far as vending and more precisely weird vending machines are concerned, our next discovery is the Boob claw machine, where with a bit of luck you’ll manage to pick up a stress-relief boobie to play with.
Now here’s a vending machine we probably would of all loved to come across at least once in our life, on one of those days where suddenly out of the blue, rain starts unloading itself on us. Usually your first reflex is to try and cover your head while ducking for shelter, but these dispensers could offer you a new option.
While you would probably be tempted buy a cat or dog, in Asia it’s the male Rhinoceros beetle who tends to rule popularity wise(mind you, don’t be misguided here, as they also love our 4 legged furry pals, but the story doesn’t always end up with a happy ever after), and it’s not uncommon to come across vending machines which allow the Japanese kiddos to quickly purchase a kabutomushi without having to plan a trip to the pet store –where they are also sold.
Now no doubt that the following dispensers should capture the attention of quite a few; does the idea of buying a little cannabis at a vending machine tempt you? Now that marijuana has been legalized in states such as Colorado or Washington (regulations apply though), these “medical cannabis” vending machines are slowly starting to pop up, and are available for now to the holders of specific swipe cards. Doobie anyone?
How about an interesting and cheap claw machine game which could eventually lead to an exquisite meal. Let’s see if you’ll have what it takes to catch one of these handsome lobsters, and if you do, the restaurant in charge of the lobster vending machine will then cook the invertebrate for you free of charge.
While it’s not unusual to come across vending machines in public toilets which sell condoms, sanitary pads, toothbrushes or even combs; you probably didn’t know that some dispensers also propose well known little blue pills, that allow men to keep their ladies hopes and expectations “up”, and why not after all…
Why should kids have all the fun when it comes to buying toys in vending machines? It was about time the playful adults that we are got our share too. Colorful dildos, refined U-shaped vibes, cute heart-shaped breast massagers and many more await you in these specific dispensers, so why deprive ourselves?
Let’s face it, most of the edible goods we come across during our vending machine encounters aren’t really know to be on the first steps of the podium when it comes to vitamins and minerals, well until now that’s what you thought, but after checking out what follows, this vision may slightly be altered.
As we more or less all know by now, working for companies such as Google or Facebook allows you to access some very cool features that we’d often like to find at work also. So if we tell you that Facebook proposes to its employees FB vending machines, you’ll probably be dying to know what the latter dispense. Please check out the following pictures for the answer.
We thought that capsule hotels should feature in this collection of weird vending machines, as they can sort of be qualified as a sleep dispensers in a way. The latter offer affordable (30/40$ a night) coffin sized “rooms” to their clients and include features such as an alarm clock, a radio, a TV or even a panic button… and given the nature of the rooms no wonder. The perfect place to shoot a special “fear factor for claustrophobics “ for sure.
Just imagine, the most magical moment of your life, as you romantically walk side by side down to…. The autowed wedding vending machine! These days for only 1$, you will first get to enjoy a little wedding march intro before being asked to chose between two options : “I do” & “Escape”, after what the machine will provide you with two plastic rings and a certificate declaring you both married to each other. Evidently your breathtaking wedding will be an unofficial one, but that’s probably not a bad thing after all.
Given what we now know, one could wonder what the future has in reserve for us. Maybe the “forever alone club” could be tempted to give the Vend-a-man vending machine a shot; while others will insist on taking a few of their acquaintances for a spin down to the Brain vending machine… time will tell.
